Virtual learning & Mom guilt
When news of the pandemic hit, I was unsure of what to do with Bean’s learning. He was in a pre-k setting prior to everything shutting down and was learning so much! I felt the pressure to try and duplicate as much as I could...while working a full time job, cooking, cleaning, and managing all of my feelings about the newness of being at home. I grabbed a rug to replicate the morning circle (from his school) and I did my best to run through the alphabet, numbers, etc. I ran to the neighborhood dollar store and racked up on flashcards, workbooks, and anything I could grab. Most materials were for 5 year olds. I grabbed it anyway thinking we would figure it out. “Homeschool” lasted maybe two weeks before I downloaded learning applications and laxed screen time restrictions. I wasn’t cut out for homeschooling and it showed! I decided that nature walks, character building, story time, and independent living skills would be my contribution and learning applications could supplement the rest.
Fast forward to September and here we are with round two of virtual learning. Most of the Moms I follow on social media went all out this time with impressive dedicated learning spaces. The thought of trying to structure a learning environment while planning reentry at my workplace (education) was too much. The guilt I had comparing myself to other moms with binders, learning nooks, and a solid plan was overwhelming. Would he be behind? Am I really doing my best? I felt shame, embarrassment, and inferiority.
After a few pity sessions, I reminded myself of all the development that Bean has made since being home. His vocabulary, imaginative play, curiosity, and independence has skyrocketed. He has grown in empathy and he’s so caring. I’m proud to be raising and guiding a kind young man. We will get around to traditional academics, probably. As of now, this is our best and I’m ok with it.
The lesson that keeps on giving during this season is that
Comparison is literally the thief of joy - Whether it’s in parenting or any other part of lifestyle, I believe it’s fine to reference but not to the extent of feeling inadequate. I can cheer on others for the progress in their journey while cheering myself on in my own journey.
Find the blessing in the lesson - There’s something to learn in every challenge of life. I usually find the blessing after processing and discarding the negative.
Do your best - Whatever you’re doing, figure out your way and do it with fidelity.